What Do You Mean By Submission?

by Elisabeth Elliot

People are always asking me this. What is this business of "submission" you're always talking about? We're not really very comfortable with this. Seems kinds of negative. Sounds as though women are not worth as much as men. Aren't women supposed to exercise their gifts? Can't they ever open their mouths?

I wouldn't be very comfortable with that kind of submission either. As a matter of fact, I'm not particularly comfortable with any kind, but since it was God's idea and not mine, I had better come to terms with what the Bible says about it and stop rejecting the whole thing just because it is so often misunderstood and wrongly defined. I came across a lucid example of what it means in 1 Chronicles 11:10, NEB: "Of David's heroes these were the chief, men who lent their full strength to his government and, with all Israel, joined in making him king." There it is. The recognition, first of all, of God-given authority. Recognizing it, accepting it, they then lent their full strength to it, and did everything in their power to make him--not them--king.

Christians--both men and women--recognize first the authority of Christ. They pray "Thy will be done." They set about making an honest effort to cooperate with what He is doing, straightening out the kinks in their own lives according to His wishes. A Christian woman, then, in submission to God, recognizes the divinely assigned authority of her husband (he didn't earn it, remember, he received it by appointment!. She then sets about lending her full strength to helping him do what he's supposed to do, be what he's supposed to be--her head. She's not always trying to get her own way. She's trying to make it easier for him to do his job. She seeks to contribute to his purpose, not to scheme how to accomplish her own.

If this sounds suspiciously like some worn-out traditionalist view, or (worse) like a typical Elisabeth Elliot opinion, test it with the straightedge of Scripture. What does submission to Christ mean? "Wives, submit yourself to your husbands, as to the Lord." Compare and connect.

The 8 Day Challenge Day 8

Thought of the Day
"I am drenched with the joy of God and all is well."

Congratulations for sticking with the challenge for eight days! How did it go yesterday with building up and multiplying joy in the life of that one special person? What about the other 4 people who have participated with you? Have you checked up on their progress? Bear in mind that the 4:8 principle tends to impact your relationships more than anything else.

Your eight day experiment of deliberately searching for and cultivating the good stuff in your life officially ends after you drift to sleep this evening. Of course, I hope and certainly encourage you to continue filtering your thoughts, words, and actions through Philippians 4:8 indefinitely. For a quick reinforcement, reread this powerfully simple verse from The Message:

"Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious--the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse." Philippians 4:8 (MSG)

Recently, I was asked by a nine year-old about The 8-Day Challenge. I explained that it was a little game to see how many grown-ups could think and talk only about the good stuff in their life for eight straight days. The little boy then asked me what happened to the losers...

The single most effective method for extending the benefits of The 8-Day Challenge is developing the habit of asking, re-asking, and then answering 4:8 Questions. A 4:8 Question is a question about your life that extracts a positive response. When you change the questions you consistently ask yourself, you start thinking differently. The 4:8 Questions are a simple tool to displace negativity in the short term and help you take conscious control of your repeated thoughts over the long haul.

These questions reroute your attention to the best things in your life. Even on tax day, you'll find that 4:8 Questions immediately change what you're focusing on. Consequently, they affect how you feel, as well as your level of creativity, excitement, and joy at any given moment. When you ask better questions, you receive better answers. Do you believe God wants you to launch into each day with joy? Try these questions immediately upon waking, during your Early Morning Joy Ritual (EMJR):

What are 4 things that I'm grateful to God for this morning?
What are 4 of my strengths, and how can I use them today?
What are 4 of my recent victories, and who was blessed as a result?
What 4 relationships could I influence positively today?
What are 4 things that I'm excited about experiencing over the next twelve hours?
Each of the questions above demands a positive response, and by asking for four answers to each, I am compelling you to dwell on the positive. After all, you cannot completely control the thoughts that are triggered from your surroundings, but you can unquestionably control what you choose to dwell and fix your mind upon.

To get these questions working for you, put a copy where you can see them often, such as on a bathroom mirror, a night table, your computer screen, the refrigerator, or the steering wheel of your car. You could even make a screen saver containing your 4:8 Questions or tape them to your treadmill, Stairmaster or exercise bike. Keep them "top of mind" as much as possible throughout the day, almost like you're advertising reasons to be joyful. Remember that your potential for joy is limited only by your preparation for joy.

Question of the Day
In what ways could you better prepare yourself to live, give and love with joy, regardless of what is going on around you?

The Challenge of the Day (for extra credit...or the extra mile)
Design, in writing, your ideal Early Morning Joy Ritual (EMJR), emphasizing the First Fifteen minutes of your day. (See page 141)

1. read Scripture, listen to worship songs, pray
2. avoid TV and negative thoughts
3. prepare for my EMJR the night before by setting out a journal, a book, my Bible, going to bed early enough to give me at least 8 hours of sleep
4. the instant i wake up, tell myself "this is the day that the Lord has made; rejoice! and be glad in it! i am so incredibly blessed." thank God for another day of grace.
5. the instant i wake up, avoid telling myself "it's gonna be a long day..." or turning my thoughts to what i DON'T have
6. intensify my gratitude in the First Fifteen by journaling my answers to the 4:8 Questions and journaling 5 things each day that i am grateful for
7. use prayer and Scripture to talk and listen to God
8. carry my answers to the day's 4:8 Questions around with me all day to keep my mind on 4:8 Thoughts

a devotion i read today...

A few years ago, I sat with a beautiful young woman and watched the tears stream down her face. Six months before our meeting, her world was filled with so much. A loving husband, a healthy toddler, fun friends, and a new starter home that her mom helped her decorate.

Life was full.

But some part of her heart still felt restless, unsettled, a little empty. She couldn't put her finger on it. She tried talking to some of her friends but they laughed it off as something related to hormones that would pass.

Only the feeling didn't pass.

She started to feel detached from her husband and disappointed that his love didn't fulfill her. Why couldn't he make her feel loved? She'd always thought of marriage as the ultimate love. He was going to be the one to right her wrongs, fill up her insecurities and give her a lasting feeling of love, or so she thought.

Questions bombarded her constantly... What is wrong with him? Why didn't he say what he's supposed to say? Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm not pretty enough, witty enough, good enough?

Then one day she met a man that said things she'd longed to hear her husband say. He made her feel pretty and witty. Soon, she rationalized that she'd never really loved her husband in the first place. She'd made a mistake marrying so young. This new man was her true soul mate.

She fell into his arms. A web of lies was spun. The thrill of new romance clouded her every decision.

She had not wanted to come to the women's retreat. She knew it might make her feel guilty and she was past any guilty feelings. She was just waiting for the right time to leave her husband and start over with the real love of her life.

But her friends had started to grow suspicious of her pulling back from so many church activities. So, to appease them, she went.

Over the course of the weekend, the walls she'd so carefully constructed to keep everyone at a distance and her secret safe started to crumble. By Saturday night, she sat down with me and confessed her secret.

She desperately wanted to know how I felt so full of God's love. She'd never known that kind of relationship with God. She was now convinced it wasn't the love of another man her heart craved, it was the love of God.

I think this is true of many people. We spend years chasing things in this world that we think will make us feel loved. But everything this world has to offer is temporary. Everything. The kind of love our souls crave is lasting, eternal. And only God can fill up our hearts with that kind of love.

The sad thing about chasing love outside the will of God is it invites so much into our lives that is the exact opposite of love. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 is picture of God's perfect love. It is patient. It is kind. It does not envy... it is not self-seeking... it does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth... it always protects... it always perseveres. Love never fails.

This is not a description of what is inherently ours when we fall in love with another person. It is a description of God's love. This kind of love can be ours as we become more Christ like and decide to give this kind of love. It is never focused inwardly. It is never about what I'm going to get from another person. It is deciding this is the kind of love I will give away.

The things we chase in this world are so opposite from God's love. False attempts at love will make us impatient, unkind, envious, self-seeking, resistant to the truth, reckless and temporary.

I am challenged by this. Because our souls were designed for God's fulfilling love, if we aren't staying closely connected to Him everyday, our hearts will start to feel empty. Restless. Unfulfilled.

Let us never get to the place where we think we are strong enough to not be tempted in this way. If we are all completely honest, we are only a few bad decisions away from the same kind of mess my sweet friend is now trying to untangle herself from. While I have complete hope in God's ability to restore her, the consequences of her chase for love will be severe on many levels.

Oh sweet friends, can we make a commitment together today? Can we commit to be women who recognize how crafty Satan can be and how vulnerable we are when it comes to our need for love?

And if something or somebody in this world seems appealing enough to draw our hearts away from the truth of God, we commit to being women who will readily admit it to another godly woman and ask for help.

The kind of love our souls crave will never be found in the things of this world. The only lasting and perfectly satisfying love will only be found when we stop chasing and start living out the truths of God.

The 8 Day Challenge Day 7

Thought of the Day
"I bring out the best in the people I appreciate the most."

Good morning and welcome back!

What's going great in your world? I expect you're doing awesome and you still have two days to make even more progress.

For today, I want you to focus on building up one particular person with your prayers, thoughts, words, and actions. This is your 4:8 target for the day. Only one rule; don't let this person know that they are your "target." I don't know who this individual is, but I believe you do.

Pick one person to concentrate almost all of your 4:8 energy on... just for today. This could be your spouse, a child, sibling, friend, parent, business partner, boss, top client, or someone else that is special in your life. Maybe this individual really needs your attention because they are facing challenging circumstances or possibly you decide to focus on this person simply because they are so important to you. Before you go any further, ask God for guidance in selecting your target.

So who is it going to be? Who in your life could benefit the most right now from some 4:8 power and affection? Take a brief moment and crystallize an image of this person in your mind's eye. Picture your target with a big smile on their face, feeling terrific about themselves and their life, in part because of your 4:8 efforts on their behalf. Don't tell your target what you are doing, but ask God to use you this day as an ambassador of joy in this person's life.

There is enormous power in concentration! Often times, we spread ourselves thin diluting our potential for influence and impact with the very people we love the most. Too frequently, we unintentionally give our prime-time energy to the "Optional 80%," leaving only leftovers for the "Required 20%" whom we value the most. For this one day, make sure this does NOT happen. Go all out and make multiplying joy for this one person your absolute top priority. Remember, this is just one day, not one week... Ask God to multiply their joy through your thinking, speaking and acting today.

Looking for ideas? Here are a few that will get your brain moving in the right direction, but the rest, though, is up to you. What will you choose to do today?

Compliment and encourage your 4:8 target beyond the norm.
Leave a special handwritten note of general gratitude.
Ask your target "how they would like you to pray for them."
Plan a future tribute or surprise that is excellent and noble.
Leave a short voice mail appreciating your target in some specific way.
Pray for joy to increase in this person's life beyond all measure.
Shower your target with mini-prayers of blessing throughout the day.
Brainstorm 8 ways to "lighten the load" and reduce stress in your target's life.
Verbalize something very positive about your target to 4 other people.
Question of the Day
Are you spreading way more joy than you hope to receive?

The Challenge of the Day (for extra credit...or the extra mile)
Make a firm decision that you will treat this special person like you did today...for the next 8 days.

The 8 Day Challenge Day 6

Thought of the Day
"With God's help, I leave the junk behind."

Good morning everyone! Five days down, three to go.

For this sixth day, I want you to focus on forgiveness.

To live with maximum joy, you must forgive everyone in your life, past or present, for all the silly, spineless, nutty, nasty, gutless, cruel, spiteful, harmful, insensitive things they've ever done to you, both real and imagined. (Did I leave anything out?) As I mention in the book, life is way too short to be negative.

We're all human and stuff happens. Move on. Never let an old wound fester due to excessive attention. When you carry around bitterness, hostility, and other emotional baggage, you live in the past and cannot possibly realize your potential for joy. It is impossible to feel terrific about yourself when you are lugging around resentment toward another person. I may be wrong, but I suspect this is by divine design. You must either develop an ultra-thick skin or become a perpetual forgiveness machine--preferably both.

Forgive yourself early and often--and mean it! It is imperative to forgive yourself, without mental reservation, for your stupid choices, inappropriate thoughts, limiting words, foolish behaviors, negative beliefs, and all the other self-defeating things you've ever done. Because you are not perfect, forgiving yourself will be an ongoing process. Remarkably, you only have to do this . . . forever! That's okay; you're not alone.

Guilt isn't practical anyway. It forces you to experience the present moment while paralyzed by past mistakes. When you have setbacks or slip a bit, you aren't any less valuable. You simply have something to learn from slipping. Make sure you learn it, as learning from the past is much better than reliving it. Make forgiving yourself a mandatory element in your daily joy ritual. Forget your failures and relive your joys.

Don't expect to feel any different instantly. The emotional blessing often lags behind the actual act of forgiveness. Just accept God's grace and restoration for the incredible gift that it is. Leave the junk behind so you can make room for the joy. Practice forgiving yourself regularly--and mean it sincerely.

Question of the Day
Have you given yourself permission to live life to the fullest?

The Challenge of the Day (for extra credit...or the extra mile)
Pray the following today...

Heavenly Father,

How awesome it is that you know everything about me and love me anyway! Upgrade my opinion of myself and my vision for the future so I never feel the need to protect and preserve the past. Allow me to see myself today with as much significance as you see me. Keep my focus ahead of me rather than behind me.

Grant me the courage to push beyond previous boundaries in all areas of my life. Show me how to be a faithful steward of my one and only opportunity to magnify the greatness you have placed within me. Lead me away from complacency and any temptation to settle for less than what you know is my absolute best.

Restore me this day, and make me whole and complete.

In His name,

Amen

The 8 Day Challenge Day 5

Thought of the Day
"I feel what I dwell upon...and I feel fantabulous."

A joyful morning to everyone and welcome back!
We're on day five and today I want to highlight the connection between Philippians 4:8 and the strength and quality of your emotional life. Positive attitudes do produce positive emotions.

To put it rather mildly, the Apostle Paul was well ahead of his time when it came to understanding the human condition and in particular the mind of man. Paul knew that the root of destructive emotions is destructive thinking. As a proactive measure, he instructed us to think on noble things so that we would experience noble emotions.

No doubt about it, our Creator wants us to experience the bliss of His love, peace and joy. If you believe that negative emotions are outside God's will for your life, it provides a wonderful incentive to get really picky about the thoughts you allow to occupy your mind. Remember that the quality of your emotional life right now reveals the quality of your most recent thinking patterns.

There are strings attached. Your emotional life can advance only after your negative thoughts retreat. You will most definitely feel what you dwell upon. This is exactly why Paul, knowing we would have a choice to do otherwise, urged us to fix our minds on what is lovely, pure, excellent and worthy of praise. And consistently thinking about the good stuff supercharges your capacity to experience the richness of life that God wants for all of us.

Your current feelings reveal what you've recently been dwelling upon. So, if your emotional life today is not where you ultimately want it to be, then your top priority should be shifting your attention to your blessings, to your strengths, and to the aspects of your life that are working.

Refuse to fuel negative emotions by constantly talking about what is wrong with your marriage, your oldest kid, your sore back, your strange neighbors, and the world in general. This is 8:4 thinking. Instead, broadcast your blessings to anyone who will listen. Verbalize your exciting vision for the future to trusted friends and allies. This is 4:8 thinking!

Question of the Day
What would have to happen for you to improve your emotional life by 30 percent?

The Challenge of the Day (for extra credit...or the extra mile)
Make a list of the eight emotions you desire to experience most often. Then, next to each, identify the sort of thoughts that would naturally precede such emotions. Give specific examples for each. Decide whether or not these emotional blessings are worth pursuing.

1. passion: thinking about my future husband!
2. joy: my nephew's smile, spending time with my family
3. confidence: trusting that I am who God says I am, words of affirmation, learning thru reading scripture or hearing sermons
4. gratitude: counting my blessings
5. peace: knowing that God is in control and I'm not
6. satisfaction: doing what i was made to do- loving on others..
7. awe: being outside in nature, worshiping
8. excitement: the little things- it could be scented candles, wine & cheese, a candlelit dinner, deck sitting, dark chocolate, fall
weather

The 8 Day Challenge Day 4

Thought of the Day
"Thanks for everything."

Good morning 4:8 thinkers!

Welcome back! We’re on day four and today I want you to practice being exceptionally grateful for your life just as it is at this moment. Remember, this challenge is about focusing on the good stuff! Today, I want you to pray, think, speak and behave like a highly appreciative human being.

When you experience a sense of gratitude, it means that you have been harboring thoughts of appreciation for the abundance in your life. When you feel a sense of deficiency, it does not necessarily mean that you are lacking something important. What it does mean is that you have recently been dwelling upon what is missing, very likely to the exclusion of what is present.

You might have been thinking about your spouse’s annoying quirks and overlooking all the reasons you married him or her in the first place. You might have been thinking about being under financial pressure and forgetting that you have just about everything money can’t buy. Gratitude involves channeling your energy and attention toward what is present and working rather than toward what’s absent and ineffective.

Gratitude is like a mental gearshift that takes you from turbulence to peacefulness, from stagnation to creativity. Gratitude brings you back to the present moment, to all that is working well in your life right now. Gratitude is the cornerstone of an unstoppable, 4:8 attitude. And gratitude can be cultivated and then experienced at ever-deepening levels.

Gratitude is also an effective antidote to most negative emotions. For example, you cannot experience gratitude and hostility at the same time; you have to make a choice. Which one is it going to be? The more you appreciate today, the more things you will notice tomorrow to be grateful for.

On the flip side, the less appreciative you are today, the fewer blessings you will tend to acknowledge tomorrow. You are going to draw more joy out of your business, out of your marriage, out of your family life, and out of all the other aspects of your existence when you make a commitment to become a genuinely grateful person.

Question of the Day
Are you certain that the people you love the most know how grateful you are for them?

The Challenge of the Day (for extra credit…or the extra mile)
Today, make a list of four people in your life who have pushed you to become a better person and call, email, or write a personal note of appreciation to each within the next 48 hours.