a love letter from my uncle.

i sent this email to my uncle John on Sunday:

this is my last week at the dentist office. thank you for introducing me to the Pehrsons in 10/03 and especially, NPCC. i am at a crossroads in life and i'm not sure which direction to go. i feel like i have the capability to just pick up and GO! somewhere new, but where? all i want is to be a wife and mom. pursuing a career is the last thing i'm interested in but bills have got to be paid! i have never been more ready for heaven. i'm just over this life. not saying i'm gonna harm myself, but i find myself often thinking of my next life, and eager for it to begin. i don't feel like i belong here or i fit in very well. waiting is not one of my strengths but the Lord is stripping me of many things as of late and i am just trying to take life a day at at time. just do the next thing. ;-)


and this is his reply:

Jess, you say some important things that I want to affirm. Please read these words and verses and truths and let them renew and bathe your mind in the good things of the Lord.

1. I don't think the first thing to do is "pick up and go".
It may be in order to get a fresh start but the way you love NP/BC and the way you have grown because of it, I would keep that a part of your decision making. The first part of our decision would be a good local church in which to grow, worship and serve.

2. I don't think it is necessary to find a "career".
I think careers are the world's concept. Yes, it is true you have bills to pay and so the pursuit is the Lord and His provision for you. Don't think of your next step as a career. I believe the Lord is using this experience to keep your dependence on Him.

3. I love your desires to be a wife and mom.
The Lord has changed you and put these desires in you. What a change from the first time you came here. The key is keep growing in your delight of the Lord.
Psa. 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. This is Aunt Debbie's life verse.

4. I love how you are longing for heaven. This is a good thing.
Jesus said we are not of this world but from another world. I often think about the world to come and my desire to be with Him in His kingdom where we don't have to deal with the hardships of this world and life.

John 13:1 It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 15:18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

John 16:28 I came from the Father and entered the world; now I am leaving the world and going back to the Father.”

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 17:13 “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. 14 I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. 15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.

5. I understand how hard it is to wait.
It is part of God's plan as He develops us as His children and disciples. Waiting is hard for all.

Psa. 119:166 I wait for your salvation, O LORD, and I follow your commands.

Psa. 130:5 I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. 6 My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Rom. 8:23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

Rom. 8:25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

6. And finally, I love how you are taking life one day at a time.
This is what the Lord wants us to do. The enemy wants us to think about the past and worry about the future but God desires us to be fully alive, fully present and fully engaging Him in the moments of every day. This begins with constant THANKING HIM...in all things all the time. Keep giving thanks even when you don't "Feel" like it. thanks is an act of the will and obedience.

Psa. 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Matt. 6:25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Matt. 6:31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

Matt. 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

James 4:13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

Hope you are blessed and refreshed by these words of truth and the Lord.

I love you more than you will ever know.

See you in the morning.

Uncle J.