Sunday, May 18, 2008

i'm an introvert? i'm an introvert. i'm an introvert!

i took the Myers-Briggs personality profile back in college and was an ESFJ. but in the last couple of years, i have really noticed how much more introverted i have become! i just had to know for sure, so i retook the test the other day, and sure enough, i am now an ISFJ. i'm still processing the term "introvert" and i might even embrace the word someday... maybe.


maybe i've just wanted to be an extrovert, i was trying to be someone i thought i should be. but as i approach 30, i'm starting to care less what others think or what i think i should be. i'm approaching a new season, and i'm not gonna lie, i'm excited about it! i remember having a quarter-life crisis the morning of my 25th birthday. i thought, "what in the world am i doing with my life? who am i? this is so not what i pictured for myself at 25!" but as 30 looms in my near future, i'm more ready than i thought i would be. i still don't know what i'm doing with my life, but i know Who's calling the shots. i'm more in tune with who i am. i'm still not where i pictured myself at 30... but that's ok. i am no longer here for my own agenda. it's not a matter of where i'm going or what i'm doing. it's a matter of Who i am following. in John 5:30, Jesus said, "By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me." 

Lord, i have my own ideas for what i want in life. but i want to know Your ideas. i want to know Your thoughts for me. make my agenda Yours. my time here is so short. i want to live it for Your glory, not my own. i'm sorry for the years i have spent trying to fit You around the plans i had for my life.  i'm all Yours. Father, You say in 2 Samuel that if i find favor in Your eyes, You will bring me back and let me see it and Your dwelling place again. but if You say, "You are not pleased with me", then i am ready. may You do to me whatever seems good to You. i am fully surrendered to You.


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